Alone with Bees

by Connie Lansberg

/
1.
Can’t let the dark thoughts creep in–deep in Take root and grow Got to build a fence To keep them out Need a strong defense to against the doubts So they don’t break my heart and show All the cracks, all the flaws, all the chaos we cause It takes practice, I know To feel the pain and still let go I need a castle of mortar and brick I need to vanquish the lies we inflict No games, no fuss, no shows just us Do you think this has ever been done Do you think this has ever been done Do you think this has ever been done Should we leap in the deep end of love
2.
It begins to tell 'round midnight 'Round midnight I do pretty well 'til after sundown Suppertime I'm feeling sad But it really gets bad 'round midnight Memories always start 'round midnight 'Round midnight Haven't got the heart to Stand those memories When my heart is still with you And old midnight knows it too When some quarrel we had needs mending Does it mean that our love is ending Darling I need you Lately I find You're out of my arms And I'm out of my mind Let our love take wing some midnight ' Round midnight Let the angels sing For your returning Let our love be safe and sound When old midnight comes around
3.
I had a dream last night I had to write it down I wanted to remember In case there came a time My dreams denied my slumber I went into my lonely kitchen sat in my only chair I wanted to remember With no one but myself The onlyness we shared. Suddenly my hair stood up on end Pulled by unseen hands They grabbed me from behind And held me tight Familiar-A Ghost in the night Like memories of you Brutal but wanted Like shadows on the wall, I’m being haunted Hands, lips, eyes, skin I need a word for what I’m in Trapped inside my dream No one to wake me This ghost should just take me.
4.
I used to be your girl You used to be my world My world has come apart I have a broken heart Maybe if I sit still & keep my eyes closed tight & I don’t take those pills they give us at night then maybe I’ll see you like I did today looking beautiful as the day you went away I used to be your girl You used to be my world My world has come apart I have a broken heart I whisper in your ear You don’t seem to hear There’s something in my head But nothing in my bed I need to go outside I need to feel the sun But I should run and hide, My world’s come undone I used to be your girl You used to be my world My world has come apart I have a broken heart
5.
Free 03:35
I see you dancing In the street Above the clouds In your own mind I see your spirit fly On dusty feet Can you hear the wind Through the trees Call my name Call your needs Can you hear my words Whispered on the breeze How did you learn to be So wild and free Will you teach me Will you teach me Can you reach me I need to be free I see a road You see a journey I feel your heavy load I see you turn to me With open arms And open heart And you ask me Shall we make a start I feel you dancing In my heart through my fears into the light You see through the dark That makes me blind Can you feel my hand Touching yours Holding tight Don’t let go I want to fly with you As your spirit soars How did you learn to be So wild and free Will you teach me Will you teach me Can you reach me I need to be free
6.
I spend too much time Chasing after yesterdays Gazing at stars Building gilded cages For precious scars I spend too much time Chasing after memories Grasping at straws Building traps for feelings With nasty claws And when I capture them They scream and shout And fight with me Admonish and repel They have their own story to tell They always say I’m catching Butterflies But they soon turn into bees I turn and run, run and run, But they still follow me They sting and burn Until I learn They’re not real They cannot feel I will learn to be Alone with bees and memories I’ll set the free To buzz and breed Soon you will see They will bring me honey.
7.
I remember sky, it was blue as ink Or at least I think- I remember sky I remember snow- Soft as feathers Sharp as thumb tacks -Coming down like lint And it made you squint- When the wind would blow And ice like vinyl - On the streets Cold as silver - White as sheets Rain like strings And changing things Like leaves I remember leaves- Green as spearmint Crisp as paper I remember trees Bare as coat racks Spread like broken umbrellas And parks and bridges - Ponds and zoos Ruddy faces - Muddy shoes light and noise and bees and boys And days I remember days Or at least I try But as years go by They're a sort of haze And the bluest ink Isn't really sky And at times I think I would gladly die For a day of sky
8.
The Silence 04:25
She turned the heater off and let the cold creep in And it filled the empty space where he had been Had she had missed the signs? The decline in conversation She believed the silence was the place where love began The silence wrapped its arms tightly ‘round her waist Like the sticky mist of Heathcliff’s darkened moor It waltzed her on her toes All through the tiny castle It waltzed her with abandon Right out the door She marveled at her blindness that she had been so wrong She thought his pressing silence meant that he was strong But the hush became a shadow Pressing her against the wall She used it as a blanket, a warm and cozy shawl She turned the heater off and let the cold creep in It filled the empty space where he had been And she believed the silence And she believed the silence And she believed the silence Was the place where she began
9.
Mother’s little helper Can’t get by without it She’s looking on the shelf for The pills not in her wallet She can’t go out the front door Without a little backup She’s afraid that she could Have another crack up Oh oh ya oh oh ya Got two kids in diapers Their crying drives her crazy She broke the windshield wipers The heat just makes her lazy She needs to take the edge off a life of endless sharing She knows her life’s not that tough But she’s beyond all caring Oh oh ya oh oh ya Mother’s Little Helper will give you lots of thrills She’s there for you each morning saying Don’t forget your pills Daddy’s in the backyard He’s drinking lots of beer Mummy’s yelling at him hard But Daddy doesn’t hear He doesn’t stay at home much got a friend across the street Mummy thinks her name is Butch Daddy thinks she’s neat Oh oh ya oh oh ya Mother’s Little Helper will give you lots of thrills She’s there for you each morning saying Don’t forget your pills
10.
Where has the time all gone to Haven't done half the things I want to Oh, well, we'll catch up some other time This day was just a token Too many words are still unspoken Oh, well, we'll catch up some other time Just when the fun is starting Comes the time for parting But let's be glad for what we had and what's to come There's so much more embracing Still to be done, but time is racing Oh, well, we'll catch up some other time

about

Connie is a writer as well as a brilliant vocal storyteller and this exuberant collection of mostly original songs is a perfect representation of Connie as an artist. Each song comes with a short story based on the themes presented here. The music played so brilliantly by Mark Fitzgibbon, Ben Hanlon, and Peter Hodges, is a unique mixture of styles and genres and Connie chooses her musicians for their unique point of view like an artist chooses her colors. If these songs were paintings, they would be evocative impressionistic full of rich jewel tones with accents of gold. This album is part of a special 4 CD compilation with a small book of original short stories, one for each song on this album.

credits

released December 31, 2021

written/produced/arranged and performed By Connie Lansberg
Co-arranged and piano by Mark Fitzgibbon
Ben Hanlon double bass
Peter Hodges drums

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Connie Lansberg Melbourne, Australia

Connie Lansberg is a singer,
& songwriter who collaborates with brilliant jazz musicians & her unique artistry is found in the freshness and variety of her original works, her natural talent as a storyteller, and her ability to hold an audience’s rapt attention. The chemistry she ignites in her band adds another alluring spark to her performances. ... more

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